The Joy of Analytics
We really HATE using Google Analytics as you need a PhD to use it. Find out how we overcame this, and how the joy of analytics came to Midlands Maidens.
News from the Midlands Maidens Blog
Designed by Heatmaps
Mobile and tablet users will have noticed a slightly new design today. This is due to a new toy we're using as the content is now designed by heatmaps.
Sexy 404 Pages
It's a well-known fact (amongst webmasters) that a 404 page is essential for a website's inner workings. Welcome then to the Midlands Maidens Sexy 404 page!
No Sex Please, We’re British
Hot off the press today comes this curated post from the London Evening Standard, saying 'no sex please' due to the UK coronavirus laws.
Whoops!
Looks like we dropped a bit of a clanger in the 'improvements' on adding one of the two new toys earlier this week: find out why we were going whoops!
More Toys (+18)
We've had to throw the Age Gate onto this post about more toys as it gets rather indecent towards the end. Here's what's been added to the website!
Evergreen Project
We decided this week that a few of our old blog posts were starting to look a little shabby, which is why we decided to open the Evergreen Project.
Rocket Your Website
We've just received a message from WPRocket that will enable any webmaster to rocket your website at a discounted price. Read on for full details:
Optimisation 2
It looks like we jumped the gun a little on our last post, and we decided to rectify this problem with this solution - imaginatively titled Optimisation 2.
Optimisation
Over the past few days, we've added a couple of new optimisation softwares into the website, one of which decided to remove our video posts.
Browser Resizing
Our latest preloader is optimised for mobile phones. Here's how to view it properly on a pc by using simple browser resizing.
Baby Wind-Up 3 Nearly 6
We're still getting many calls, but this one had us cracking up. Meet the baby wind-up who wanted a Superman story read by Wonder Woman:
The Mothership Returns
We've been working very hard today to bring the Mothership back to Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts and we think we've done a pretty good job!
Exemption Certificates 101
Since we are taking no appointments without exemption certificates during COVID-19 restrictions, here's a quick 101 on how to get them.
Social Distancing
Really does astound us how people try to flaunt the present social distancing rules by booking escorts and then wanting an incall to boot.
Sexting, Sex Chat, VideoCalls
Due to the UK Lockdown, we've been swayed with introducing sexting, sex chat, videocalls into the website. Thing is though, this might be the missing link!