We've decided to try out a text-to-speech option for the website, and after 'listening' to a few pages, our first impressions of it are pretty good!
Last Updated on Sunday, March 27, 2022 by Midlands Maidens
Exemption Certificates 101
Since we are taking no appointments without exemption certificates during COVID-19 restrictions, here’s a quick 101 on how to get them.
Just a quick reminder then – ALL live sex type appointments will require an official Exemption Certificate, which needs to be counter-signed by two high court judges and three referees.
Along with the exemption certificates you will also get an official photo ID card, which is the part that we need to see, and which is reproduced below from our SOCIAL DISTANCING post:
Your name should be clearly visible at the top, together with your date of birth, your place of work, and the company that you work for.
At the time of writing this post it is Easter Weekend, so the queues for these certificates might be excessive, but boy are they worth it!
Let’s beat the queues and go out and about with the Midlands Maidens News team to see what all of this is about!
Already the queues are forming at 08.45 outside the Main Post Office in Nottingham. You may well notice that most of these people have also taken their kids along to make a day out of it.
At 10.15 we move onto one of the local high street banks, where people are hoping to get one or more of their staff to counter-sign their certificates as referees.
And so onto the ‘biggie’ counter-signing as at 2.15pm we see the crowds are now stretching all the way down a local shopping area in an attempt to get into the Nottingham Crown Court so that the two High Court Judges can counter-sign the exclusion certificates.
At 10.30pm, and after the initial mass-hysteria, we can see this lucky exemption certificate holder showing off his brand new exemption certificate, flanked on either side by the two judges that counter-signed.
And so just shy of 15 hours after the initial queuing started, exemption certificates were beginning to be given out, meaning that each lucky holder would now be able to apply for an appointment at Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts.
All of our girls got theirs last week just before the COVID-19 crisis took a foothold, and so they all missed the queues, and with the mass-hysteria now taking hold, we would like to reward all holders of exemption certificates with a £50 reduction on their first hour.
These reductions will come in the form of an ASDA gift card which can be redeemed at all ASDA stores.
**DISCLAIMER, Please Note**
The whole of this post is designed to either wind up daft punters, or waste their time, and is a complete work of fiction.
There are no such things as ‘Social Distancing Exemption Certificates’ as the COVID-19 virus can hit anyone, anywhere, and at anytime.
All of those idiots that still phone up for live sex appointments will be treated with the derision that they deserve.
#StaySafe #StayHome #DontBeSuchAFuckingTwat
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Post Images (the real ones) –