Interview with the vampire

Interview With the Vampire

Reading Time - 8 mins

Last Updated on Friday, July 7, 2023

Interview With the Vampire

We’ve been working on this for a few weeks now and it’s finally ready. Welcome to our own take on the Interview With the Vampire!

This little interview (well it’s quite long really) stems from when one of our new girls, Leela, started asking about how the Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts agency came about, and there were so many variations on the questions that we thought it would make a great blog post.

So from the bowels of the Pit & Pendulum in Nottingham City Centre, here are the questions asked by Leela, and the answers from Steve, the applicant interviewer, phone answerer, and general dogsbody that tries to ensure that Midlands Maidens runs as efficiently as possible!

The Interview With the Vampire

Leela: ‘An easy one to start with – why did you choose the interview with the vampire as a title?’

Steve: Because it sounds cool! Hey, I’m not saying I’m Brad Pitt or anything – except if I move this way a little and you squint your eyes like this (moves into strange positions and squints eyes) – but it really is a great title for an interview!

Leela: ‘Ha ha ha yes, I suppose it is! So Steve, how long have you been running an escort agency?’

Steve: Officially since 2006. Unofficially since 2003 though some would argue that point.

Leela: ‘Oh, and why is that?’

Steve: Well Midlands Maidens opened for business in 2006, but it coincided with the owner of ABC escorts harping on about them having the best selection of escorts in Nottingham – when I knew for a fact that the cream of the crop from ABC had already left due to their exorbitant ‘agency fees’ and were now working independently for ‘Northern Angels’ who used to be a really big name in the escorting industry amongst independent escorts.

There were around five or six girls that I kept in touch with, and indeed drove them to their bookings, but they were finding the going tough with having to arrange their own appointments.

So I studied web design in an internet café with the idea of us starting our OWN escort agency, and three years later we launched Midlands Maidens.

It was a bit rough at the start, as it is with ALL new businesses, but when the work started to come in, all of those six girls that had gone over to independent work jumped at the chance to join us – especially as the agency fees were now more realistic.

Leela: ‘Sounds good, but what did you do before running Midlands Maidens?’

Steve: I was a cab driver with a couple of local firms. I was quickly getting bored though, however, I had a great rapport with the passengers. From there it was simple enough to change ‘passengers’ for ‘clients’ and carry on my rapport with them as the owner of Midlands Maidens.

Leela: ‘Did you struggle in the beginning, or did you feel that you had a knack for it?’

Steve: Oh yeah, as I mentioned earlier ALL businesses struggle when they start out, but when the first booking came in a couple of weeks later, it just seemed to spiral – that was when all the indy girls came back to us and we never looked back!

Leela: ‘What were some of your worst mistakes and greatest victories throughout the course of your career?’

Steve: Whew, tough question. Shall we get another jug first?

Leela: ‘Yes sure, same again?’

Steve: Absolutely!

Short break whilst Leela gets another jug of wrath in…

…and the resumption of the interview with the vampire…

Leela: ‘Right, so what were your worst mistakes and greatest victories?’

Steve: The worst mistakes all seemed to centre around the girls we took on. Two stick out from all the rest and both of them worked for ABC like our original girls.

‘Janine’ was the first mistake – she went out on Midlands Maidens as ‘Heidi’ and found this higher class of escorts more difficult from the start. You know, you’d be driving her around and a call would come in for ‘Giselle’, and she’d say ‘tell them Giselle is dead’.

I’ve never forgotten that.

We finally got rid of Janine after we advised her which photos to use, then calls came in for her, and she refused every booking.

Janine eventually surfaced again as the owner of VIP CallGirls, Elite Diamonds, CallGirls Confidential and a myriad of others that carried the same stigma of reliability and truth-telling as her.

One to avoid at all costs, yeah?

The other mistake that stands out was Nikki, again from ABC originally but she eventually became known as ‘the poison dwarf’. A coke-head in the most extreme terms, Nikki lasted even less time than Janine (if that were possible) before she was dumped in the bin along with her lines.

Leela: ‘Whew – and the victories?’

Steve: I always see our greatest victories as being those girls that have never done this before (escorting) finally realising that they can make a fantastic career out of this.

There are a few girls that get greedy obviously, in arranging private meets, thinking they know better than us and giving their real names out, but this soon gets stamped out as there’s always one client that will spill the beans on their practices.

But in the main, there’s nothing more rewarding than seeing a girl going from a plain-jane no-one to an elite escort – and money cannot buy that feeling!

Leela: ‘Sounds really rewarding! Can you describe a typical day for you?’

Steve: Work, work, and more work! No really, I’ve got a couple of non-escort directories on the go, and I’m busy trying to populate those – and of course, there’s always a pub around the next corner if you can time it right 🙂

Other than that there are the interviews for this agency, as you’ve just seen, where we look for likely candidates that could hold down a permanent staff position.

Leela: ‘What do you look for in an escort?’

Steve: Well as you’ve just seen, punctuality is a paramount factor as in any job. If you cannot get to the interview on time then we can’t risk you letting a client down.

Leela: ‘Yes, Channy was a little late?’

Steve: Unbelievably late, yes. So she’d failed the interview before she started.

Leela: ‘But she was really pretty?’

Steve: Indeed, and that’s what persuaded me to carry on with the interview, but she’d have to tick all the remaining boxes.

Which she didn’t.

And she finished off the wrath.

But to clarify, we’d need amazing eye-contact from the girl, we’d need fantastic services or ‘likes’ mentioned, we’d need inspiring conversational skills, and we’d need a great image portrayed, which is why I asked her to ‘stand up and give us a twirl’.

Sadly she failed on all of those counts too, but the punctuality is the main factor.

Leela: ‘What do you do in your spare time?’

Steve: Apart from watching porn you mean?

Reams of laughter from both 🙂

No, when I’ve actually GOT some spare time, I like a couple of games of chess, and I’m pretty nifty on the guitar (air guitars to ‘Enter Sandman’ which is playing on the P&P sound system).


Air guitar breaks over, returning to the interview with the vampire.

Leela: ‘What advice would you give to those wanting to run an agency?’

Steve: DON’T bother running an agency!

Things are different now compared to a few years ago, and poor agencies have ruined it for everyone with their chicken fillet busty blondes.

Leela: ‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha’

Steve: Yes there’s not so much money around nowadays, and people tend to be careful how they ‘invest’ their shagging money.

Many people have a couple of poor ‘punts’ and then presume every agency has the same poor quality girls. They promise the earth and more in their fake galleries, but now I’m happy to say, people are seeing through that and investing wisely with us.

But – if you really do insist on running a new agency – the main thing is to arrange interviews for every position, turn up early to gauge their punctuality, watch for amazing eye-contact, and if at all possible, take an interview partner too.

Then have a meaningful discussion on what you’ve just seen, compare notes, and if you’re both happy you have a new staff member – provided that she accepts the return call of course.

If she doesn’t answer the call, you can always get another jug of wrath to drown your sorrows 🙂

Speaking of which, did you want another one?

Leela: ‘Oh yes, abso-flipping-lutely!’

Steve: Thanks for the questions Leela, some really nice ones there!

Leela: ‘Nothing but the best questions for an interview with the vampire!’

Interview with the Vampire was originally published on Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts by Leela and the NEWS team.

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