We got back on Tuesday afternoon to another application made via WhatsApp from what we presume was an 'agency hopper' applicant.
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Last Updated on Wednesday, April 12, 2023
State of That Fukka pt3
This latest Secret Diary post outlines five of our latest interviews, the last of which claims the title of ‘State of that fukka pt3’.
PART THREE follows later, but for now, we’ll continue with the applicants that turned up but were lacking in looks and finesse.
1) Last week’s Interviews:
Five applicants failed to turn up following their confirmation calls for one reason or another, leaving just two interviewees to consider.
This was undoubtedly due to the guaranteed wage kicking in and cold feet were rife when it came to turning up for the interview.
This left just two interviewees to turn up at The Pit and Pendulum to share a jug of Wrath or two.
‘CHELSEA’ was a 40-year-old redhead that was unrecognisable from her heavily photoshopped images (for redhead, try substituting half red, half grey) and a size 16 rather than the size 8-10 that she declared.
Really nice to talk to though, as we’d already gathered from her phone interview, but Chelsea’s image was nothing like what we were looking for to satisfy our clients.
We could not offer her a Midlands Maidens guaranteed wage, or we would have been out of pocket after a few months.
Parting on really good terms after she understood our reasons for not accepting her, and she promised to get back in touch when she’d lost a few stones.
‘LOUIE’ was supposedly a 28-year-old blonde, which she quite possibly was when her photos were taken.
15 or so years down the line though, she was again unrecognisable from her photos.
Louie had kept her dress-size stable but again the blonde hair was turning grey and we estimate that she was 45 or more years old.
Again not accepted, and these two interviews are a stark reminder as to why we insist on a face-to-face interview for all applicants wanting to join us.
2) This Week’s interviews:
Out of the four applicants that we had arranged to meet this week, ALL of them except one refused to accept their confirmation call.
This left a girl called Zara, who kept chopping and changing around the interview time but eventually met up at 5 pm.
Zara had claimed to be 25, dress size 8-10 and Australian, though her accent sounded anything but Aussie.
She had mentioned on her application that:
My hours are varied if I’m free I will answer or call back
We weren’t really bothered about Zara answering her confirmation call, but she did, and so for the sake of our clients she was met up with.
She was also at least 35 years old if she was a day, and insisted that she’d told the client that she was from Manchester.
What client? Certainly not one of ours.
Everything from then on was an outright lie.
Arguing about everything that was put on the table for her, she ended up wanting to stay in the incall premises to save on cab fares.
She was told that ‘this is OUR interview’ whereupon she stormed out in a hissy fit.
Even though we’d just interviewed the biggest lying slag ever to come down to a Midlands Maidens presentation, we’re keeping our promise not to publish photos that weren’t for publication on the website, but that does not stop us from declaring Zara as the State of That Fukka pt3.
Hopefully, you will be able to do better than Zara and actually listen to what we’re offering instead of arguing about everything!
What you will get when successfully applying for a staff position at Midlands Maidens:
- Big cash rewards
- A Midlands Maidens GUARANTEED wage
- Total discretion
- Choose your own hours to work (within reason)
- We manage all your bookings and advertising
- Advertised on a professional website
- Faces blurred (at your request) to protect your anonymity
- No upfront costs, payments made directly to you, on or prior to your appointments
- Security procedures in place
- Friendly approachable management
- Extensive knowledge of the industry
- Fantastic clients
- Great earning potential
- Drug-free agency
Previous successful applicants have included:
- Ex-employees of two of the three emergency services,
- Office workers,
- Front-of-house zero-hours employees,
- Delivery drivers,
…all of whom have given up on their previous chosen fields to come into this lucrative industry, as well as girls that are out of work and ‘girls least likely to succeed.’
All girls whether they are ex-police commissioners down to ex-benefit claimants are treated in exactly the same way when starting out and will eventually find that new type of ‘buzzing’ in their new careers.
We’ll look forward to meeting you soon!